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| My first day of kindergarten. September 1991. |
Now I’m discovering another kind of guilt. Yes, writers have two kinds of guilt: when we’re not writing, and when we are writing! Now what’s up with that???
I lose track of time when I’m writing; it goes by so quickly when I’m immersed in a story! And sometimes, especially recently since the daylight is longer, dinner isn’t ready when my husband gets home. Oops!
My hubby is a modern guy and doesn’t expect me to make dinner just because I look cute in an apron (I don’t actually have an apron so that can’t be it). It just makes good sense since I’m the one at home right now. (Believe me, if it was the other way around, he’d be in the apron!) He works in a hot, loud shop all day while I’m in our comfortable apartment. He has a dictated lunch hour. I get to eat whenever I want. His belly growls as he walks in the door. My belly purrs. Jeez, do I ever feel guilty when I forget about dinner because I’ve been happily writing.
Part of this zigzagging journey is overcoming the struggles, so here are two ways I deal with my writer’s guilt:
Journal Writing. Though I put aside my wip on the weekends, I still write in my journal. Journal writing helps me relax and I often generate ideas for my wip and future writing projects without consciously doing so. I’m keeping my mind passively thinking about writing while resting my eyes from the glaring laptop screen.
Setting Alarm. I have a big pink watch that’s not appropriate to wear on a job interview. Or anywhere in public. It’s only use is the stopwatch feature. I changed its settings so the alarm beeps every hour. It jolts me from my writing reverie and reminds me to look at the clock and do things like eat chocolate, drink water, return phone calls, feed my pet, err, husband.
I’m learning how to deal so hopefully by the time I actually have major responsibilities (like a mortgage, children, real pets) I’ll be ready to tackle the writer’s guilt and do an aggressive dance like a defensive lineman. Then again, I attended 12 years of Catholic school, and supposedly daily guilt never leaves completely… ;)
“Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway.” ~Isabelle Holland
“Writing is pretty crummy on the nerves.” ~Paul Theroux
Share with me!
Do you feel guilty on the days you don’t write? Or when writing infringes on your other obligations? How do you deal?
16 comments:
I think that's one of the greatest diservices that writing professors-- especially the ones in the MFA program do to their students. Instilling guilt.
The thing is...if you don't take some time off to LIVE...what will you write about?
I love the big pink watch idea. I do something similar with music. I have a cd that lasts an hour and when it stops...time to stretch, eat, drink, dance, do yoga....
refuel the spirit so I can write some more.
:0)
I don't feel guilty if I don't write on the weekends because I do write M-F, but I DO feel guilty if I DO write not he weekends. My husband and kid really want my attention on the weekends, because I am pretty MIA during the week. I'm here, but not present during the week. They are used to coming home and fending for themselves for dinner.
"pizza AGAIN?!"
So, I try and give them (family and friends) my full attention on the weekend, even if my characters voices are calling me to the laptop. Sometimes I do sneak and cheat, and that makes me feel guilty.
I feel TOO guilty on days I don't write. SOmetimes if I'm pressed for time I'll lower the word count, or say write half a scene. If there is absolutely no time to write I'll do some mental outlining and listen to some muse-ic. ;)
oh this is such a cute post!! i know what you mean -- i take advantage of my hubby's kindness, too. hee hee.
time management is the only solution :P
also: LOVE the apron!!
Karen- Luckily I had an excellent creative writing professor in college. I know feeling guilty is my own doing; I so want to be published I feel like I should be writing all the time or it'll never happen. Thanks for commenting!
Lola- Oh, boy, good thing kids are far into the future for me! It is important to schedule family time because we don't want family resenting our jobs. That wouldn't be good for anyone! Thanks for commenting!
T. Anne- Good ideas! Muse-ic! Haha, love it! Thanks for the comment. :)
Tahereh- Taking advantage of my hubby's kindness? I have no idea what you're talking about. **coughcough** ;o) I have A LOT of zebra stuff but not an apron yet, so I must get on that. I like it a lot better than the stereotypical cherry pie print aprons. Thanks for commenting!
Oh God, yes, I feel guilty when I don't write. Since I gave up my corporate life, it pretty much sings to the tune of: You gave up a well-paying job to sit around and write. So DO IT!
Hello! I completely agree - I feel horribly guilty when I am not writing. Even when sick. And tired. I am beginning to think there are no weekends!
I don't deal that well with it at the moment - I keep striving for the time when it all balances out by itself. Until then I try and pace myself... sometimes it works!
Talli- YES, that's how I feel! Since I'm struggling to find a "real" job, I feel sooo guilty if I'm not spending every minute writing. I know that's silly, but I can't help it! Only writing helps, so I guess that's a good thing to come out of it. Thanks for the comment!
Jayne- Hello and I'm glad you stopped by! Guilt sure is a natural feeling for us writers. I hope you find a way to deal with it that works for you! Thanks for commenting and following!
I try to write every day, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. When I miss the opportunity to crank out words on some days, I do feel guilty. But I remind myself not to give up and keep trying!
Thanks for visiting my blog today and leaving a comment! I hope to see you over there again sometime, and I look forward to reading your blog!
Laura, it is very easy for me to feel guilty pretty much every day for too much time on the computer. Yet, it's tough for a writer to take off too much time, if we're really doing our work. But I agree with those who say, if you're not living a little, or reading, or something besides writing, what will you write about? It's important to live, too. That's at least half of the life of a writing is simply experiencing life. So, I'd work on that Catholic guilt. God wants you to live, too. :) You'll find a rhythm that works. I think we spend our lives looking for balance. Just when we find it, something changes and we have to look for it again. :) Wishing you a guilt-free Thursday!
B. Miller- Even on those days when our word counts slip, it's definitely important to remind ourselves that we're still writers and to try again tomorrow. Thanks very much for commenting and following!
Roxane- I agree with that statement, too! It's easy to lock ourselves in our offices (or wherever) and forget about the outside world- sometimes too easy! Thanks for the comment!
I feel guilty when I don't write when I have the time. Which has been quite a bit lately. I think I'll try out writing in my apron this weekend. I'll let you know if it's worth doing!
I'm a Catholic school graduate, too! Talk about feeling guilty... ;o)
Alyson- Another Catholic school survivor! Haha, I liked it, though. It was nice not having to bother picking out an outfit every day!
Definitely let me know about that apron thing; I'm always looking for inanimate objects to do my work for me, haha. Thanks for commenting! :)
Ha cool post. I'm assuming you are a full time writer?
T.J.- Yes, right now. I'm still looking for a "real" job, though! Writing full time isn't very lucrative (yet!). What about you?
Ah, college student haha. So juggling clubs, schools, homework, sports, and a part-time job. I take advantage of the holidays lol. Good luck in finding a job, then again, I think writing is a "real" job... it just helps if there is funding lol.
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