I’ve known about something superduper awesome for a while but then I completely missed the post last week mentioning it. Whoops! Worst Critique Partner Ever Award goes to me. So anyway, my blog buddy Saumya Dave HAS AN AGENT!!!!!! Woohoo!! *tosses glittering confetti* *passes out cupcakes* I’ve read her novel and it’s AMAZING so I can not wait to see it in bookstores and buy a bunch of copies! Saumya is one of my first blog buddies and her writing is so beautiful and insightful. Go on over to Left and Right Brained to congratulate and wish Saumya well on her agent adventure!
I’m still learning something new every day on this zigzagging writing journey. Some things I learn are what not to do from reading novels by my favorite authors! The following list is of two clunky and redundant words/phrases I see regularly in bestselling award-winning novels by highly acclaimed writers. I’m sure when they go back and see these phrases they say oooopsie. At least I hope they do!
Bugger #1: wordlessly
After a tense or emotional scene: He wordlessly signed the divorce papers. Ick! This is better: He signed the divorce papers. That’s enough. If wordlessly was included to indicate tension or disapproval, then show the emotion instead: a shaky signature, leaving an imprint on the wood table, hesitation, laser beams bursting from his eyeballs. Readers will get that if there’s no dialogue, the exchange was void of words.
Bugger #2: wanted to know
A character asking a question followed by the dialogue tag, I (or he, she, it) wanted to know. If the character is asking a question then it’s obvious she wants to know. Just write I asked. Some writers suggest writing I said after a question mark is fine, too, because the actual ? indicates–wait for it–wanting to know something!
What common words or phrases do you see in published books that bug you?
Have a sunshiney weekend, Zigzaggers!
22 comments:
Wordlessly drives me crazy too. That's with excessive explanation of how people breathe or speak.
I love the two you listed here. I mean, I love to hate them because they are ridiculous.
I generally get irritated by most dialogue adverb tags.
Saumya emailed me about her good news. She has an awsome crit buddy in you :)
I love this post. Makes me want to check my own MS.
I don't think adverbs are as odious as people make them out to be, but wordlessly is definitely annoying, she said pleasantly ;-)
I can't think of any words/phrases in particular, but sometimes I'm so amazed what bestselling authors can get away with (that I, alas, cannot) like POV shifts within a scene and opening a book with a dream - which I have seen done by a very famous author and it was as annoying at everyone says it is.
Did we get up on the wrong side of the bed today? :)
*He wordlessly slinks away*
HAHA--I'm pretty sure I've used "wordless" a time or two--and I'll definitely think twice before I do it again!
I usually don't have a problem with what I read so long as it flows and makes its point with me. I'm sure I use plenty of things in my own writing that might grate on other writers. My main criteria is if it sounds comfortable when I read it aloud.
Lee
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LOL I haven't done those ones, but I have caught myself adding pointless words along the same lines. Thanks for the reminder!!!
Wordlessly is just sad! The ly makes it even more pitiful! Something that always bothers me in published books is "Just then" - it's so melodramatic!
Tasha- Hello and welcome to Wavy Lines! You're right, explaining breathing and speaking are buggers. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
M.J.- Hello and welcome to Wavy Lines! I agree; most dialogue tags are unnecessary. I don't mind all of them, though. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Rachna- I'm so excited for her!! I can't wait to hear how everything is going. :)
Melissa- "Wanted to know" isn't an adverb; it's a redundant phrase since the question mark indicates the person talking wants to know something. That's why it bugs me!
Susan- Yes, and waking up to the telephone ringing! A lot of authors do that, but somehow it works when you're famous and can sell lots of books on your name alone. Some day we'll be there too, some day!!
DL- Har har aren't you a funny one!
Sarah- Good call! I see it all the time in published books by both newbies and oldies and I have no idea how it keeps slipping by those editors!
Lee- That's good! You know your story better than anyone else.
Stina- I do the same thing! Usually I include pointless adverbs. It's no big deal as long as I catch them in the revisions!
Margo- I see it alllll the time! And you're right about just then; that really is too melodramatic!
Love it! Wanted to know is one of my pet peeves too - Hate when I read it.
And woohoo for Saumya!! I've been (and still am *sigh*) computerless - so I've been missing a lot. I'm thrilled for her!
I really hate it when people use 'presently' wrong. It means 'soon', not 'at the moment'! Argh!
It's funny how certain words/phrases jar. I hate the overuse of the word Basically. It's become a fill in um word. 'I did so and so basically' why not efficently,reluctantly,or any other adjective. I'm sure it wasn't really done basically at all ,ost of the time!
At the moment I'm coming across romance writing that uses the phrase s/he melted into him/her. A once great description has become a cringeworthy cliche. I imagine s/he is made of wax and it's got very hot in there.
I can't think of any that bug me, but it does bug me when words get in my way. If there are unnecessary words or bumps in the sentences, I get distracted and want to stop reading. It's my ADD.
Teresa
"He thought to himself." Well, who else did he think it to?
Hey, Laura, I do know what you mean. My peeves are 'he/she could see/feel/smell/hear' I know he/she could do all those things, but I prefer a direct approach.
Another one that I see a lot is 'he/she reached out touched her'. Again, I like a direct approach. He touched her. I'm going to assume that he had to reach out to touch her.
I'm picky, I know. :)
Jemi- What happened to your computer?? Hope it gets fixed or you get a new one soon!!
Talli- Ooo, that's a good one! That's how I feel about plethora and a lot; people think they're synonyms but they're not!
Madeleine- I had a high school teacher who hated the word basically!
Teresa- I know what you mean! That is distracting.
Diane- LoL, that's a good one!
Joy- Those are all buggers definitely! I think all writers (actually, all people) are probably a little bit picky about some things. :)
Laura, thanks so much! You are the best critique partner ever :) Don't ever forget that.
Saumya- That is so sweet of you to say! I'm glad I was able to help a little bit. I'm thrilled for you, Saumya!!
HA!!! I'm SO glad I followed your link here.
SO FREAKING TRUE!!!!!!!
Jolene- I knooow! I see these two all the time, though.
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